i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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