why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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