Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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