Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize