i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
