You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
