yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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