Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
