for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
