My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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