I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
