We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
