the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
