I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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