I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
