seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
