and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
