If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
