Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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