$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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