I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
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No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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