We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
