I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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