Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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