you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
