If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
