You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
