fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
