Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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