i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
