So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
