Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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