Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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