I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i think my cat just said my name.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
