It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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