Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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