Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
