I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
