Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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