My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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