If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
