Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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