I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
