i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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