he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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