I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize