was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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