I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
