Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize