no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
