Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
