Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
