Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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