Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
