There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
