Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
