I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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