I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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