Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
