i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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