she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
