Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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