It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
