I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
