it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
