I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
