Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
