Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
