he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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